Saturday, August 31, 2013

How did I get myself into this?

I was never much for working out.  I did it here and there, different types of workouts (kick boxing, yoga, pole-dancing, pilates, aerobics, you name it).  I never thought I needed to workout.  As I stated in my first post, I thought my body was fine.  It had gotten to a point where I really needed to get in shape, so, I hired a trainer.  From the beginning, he always said he saw something in me, wasn't sure what, but there was potential there for something.  I shrugged it off and kept on doing my workouts.  I didn't care that about the technique, I was just proud I was getting through them.  Even though I have a somewhat boyish, awkward looking body, I have an athletic build and an endurance for pain, most of the time, and vigorous workouts, I just never tested my limits.

One day as I was beginning my workout, I was approached by my trainer who asked me if I would be interested in fitness modeling.  "Fitness modeling?!" I screeched.  I had never heard of fitness modeling.  I was in the process of working off my gut full of Hawaiian rolls, white wine, and pasta so I wasn't trying to hear anything about fitness modeling.  However, my curiosity got the best of me so I had to ask, "what is that anyway?" He said it involved posing in a bikini and...stop right there.  He had me at pose and bikini.  I loved posing, especially in bikinis, so I said "let me do my research first and I'll let you know.  I did extensive research for roughly two weeks and read articles that talked about the process to becoming a fitness model, workouts, meal plans/dieting, and what it took to win competitions.  My trainer failed to mention this part to me because he knew I had given up my competitive edge some years back.  I had another trainer from our gym, a professional figure fitness model, talk to me about the process and if I would be on board.  She was willing to help me and my trainer, of course, would too.  I agreed to it.

One thing I can say about myself, I don't mind trying some new things.  I can be fearless at times and dive head first into things without really knowing what the outcome is, but isn't that half the fun?  When I was told I would have to "bulk up" I thought, out of sheer ignorance, I would have to be body builder buff.  That was quickly dismissed by my trainer.  He kindly explained to me that with my body type (i'm an ectomorph) it would be very hard for me to gain muscle, even harder maintaining it, and there was no way in HELL I was using performance enhancing drugs.  I would lift heavy and regularly, diet properly and get as much rest as I possibly could.  The rest part I can do all day, hands down.  That lifting heavy and dieting business was the challenge.  All in a fitness models days work, I guess.

I was ready for it though, bring it on baby!  I was just hoping I wouldn't severely hurt myself in the process....

Friday, August 30, 2013

It was fine as long as I was drinking beer and eating burritos...

When I first told my parents about my fitness modeling journey it was over breakfast.  I had waited a few months before I decided to tell them and at that moment I just blurted it out "I'm going to be doing fitness modeling.  What do you think?"  My mother nodded her head and my father murmured something inaudible.  I looked from one to the other, shrugged my shoulders and I went on eating my eggs.  Deep down, I know they care but because it is so out of the norm for them (they're both very old fashioned; bred from the south, smothered and covered) they're not sure how to react.  They figured if it's not something I studied in college and took an interest in earlier in life why should this be something they should take an interest in now, while I'm in my late twenties?  In their defense, I've never stayed on board with any other hobby, always quit.  But that's because it was never something I wanted to do.  This is something that I  can say, as an adult, that I'm not being thrown into, that I love and that I'm good at.  So now when I visit my parents, they always have to ask what can I eat instead of what do I want to eat.  I just tell them to have enough chicken, fish and veggies in the fridge and I'll supply the rest.  I have to travel with my supplements, protein shakes and other food items in a cooler.  All my parents can do is shake their head.

I wasn't just getting this reaction from my parents though.  Pretty soon, most of my friends that I would hang out with caught wind of my new lifestyle and soon started to slip away.  I'm not going to lie, in the beginning it bothered me.  All the hangouts and cookouts I once were invited to became far and few.  But then I started posting pictures of my progress on Facebook and Instagram.  Now, all those friends that mocked me were suddenly telling me how good I looked and they never knew how much my body had changed.  I had a few supportive friends and I was happy for them but the ones that turned from me when I started on this new journey were ones that had my attention.  I couldn't understand why everything seemed to be ok when I was drinking and eating as badly as they did but as I turned over a new leaf I was removed from their inner circle.  I slowly came to realize that misery indeed loves company.  I had always heard that phrase, understood the meaning but had never encountered it in my everyday life.  It's so funny how certain things in life turn into a lesson.



Thursday, August 29, 2013

In the not-so beginning.....

The way I viewed my body is the way most people view a three tiered wedding cake adorned with diamonds and jewels, or a classic piece of artwork hung in the finest museums for all to marvel.  I figured because I was in my roaring twenties, a size four, 135 lbs soaking wet, tall, lean and mean, that my body was something to be mesmerized by and praised.  I was oh so wrong!

My friends and I liked taking beach trips and I would say to myself, "Dre Dre, if some people can walk out here with everything exposed and nothing left to the imagination why can't you?"  So I used what God gave me and my parents enabled and strutted.  Every surface my feet touched down on became my runway.  Oh I was lean and mean all right, but I had the softest, squishiest looking body that was point and laugh worthy.  I had no definition to my body.  And my belly took on a life of its own and became known to me as 'Biscuit' because of my love and obsession for bread. "Yeast will make you bigger," they said.  Ha!  The only place it made me bigger was my belly.  But that didn't matter.  I saw a svelte looking twenty-something with a wiggly booty, stick legs and pigeon toes.  And my goodness I loved a full body picture!  I couldn't stay out of the camera. 

I reflect on all of this now, looking at the progression my body has made thus far compared to how my body looked then, and I have to shake my head and laugh.  My personal trainer put it to me in a way that made me fall on the floor laughing but also made me think.  He said I held the most fat in my back and my stomach and called me a chubby skinny girl.  Ok, that's an oxymoron.  How in the world can I be classified as skinny but then be considered chubby?  But when I thought about it more, it made sense.  This is definitely no offense to anyone but I did have chubby girl tendencies.  I hid Hawaiian bread under my seat and would eat it freely when I was at a stop light.  Or I'd eat chips and salsa right before a yoga class.  I'd even eat a loaded chicken burritos after pole-dancing class and act like I just ate a light salad.  I can go on and on.

There are many contributing factors that play a part in my body transformation but it had to start with transforming my entire thought process and what my idea of a good looking body really is.  I had so many people tell me that I looked good and there was nothing wrong with me.  I was tall and skinny so I could get away with just about anything.  I started believing this and lived my life accordingly.  It took me reprogramming my mind to reprogram my image.  It started inward and progressed outwardly. 

This journey I've been on in transforming my body and lifestyle to a more healthier state has been bumpy, aggravating, hungry, hard and comical, all the more reason to share with others that may be able to relate or inspire.