Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Corporate Woman by Day, Fitness Freak by Night

I live your average, everyday corporate lifestyle between the hours of 8:30 am and 5:00 pm.  During competition prep season, I like to prep my meals for the week on Sunday evening.  I grab my containers, which contains my lunch, snacks, protein shake, another meal, and an extra meal just in case I do not make it home for dinner, and off to work I go.  I usually take up the most room in the refrigerator at work, and I’m ok with that.  I would try to remain inconspicuous and act as if I’m not the owners of all the food containers but, ideally, my initials are conveniently marked on the corners of each container.  My brilliant idea, so no one would suddenly feel the urge to “eat healthy” and snag my food.  Nonetheless, I’m eyeballed each time I step into the kitchen.  No one can understand how someone of my stature, 5’8, 130 lbs, could put away all that food in 8 hours.  “Oh, what ya got there?” “Moving in, are we?”  I avoid the glaring eyes and cute comments and proceed to the refrigerator to stock my food.  I have found that if I tuck my food away in the food crisper drawers, no one notices.  When it’s time to eat, my reminder goes off, and off to the kitchen or my desk drawer I go.  Whenever I’m meeting in someone’s office, my mental clock goes off and I have to ask the time.  If it is feeding time, I politely but hungrily say, “It’s time to feed the beast.  Excuse me.”  And I leave. 
I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact I had to eat every 3 hours, and be ok with it.  I did not eat that much regularly so I wasn’t sure how I would be able to do this during work hours.  I am fairly busy at work and I have been known to skip a meal or two, but I did not think my healthy lifestyle and my work lifestyle could co-exist.  I tried to eat healthy at work, substituting cookies and chips for fruit and veggies, and I thought that was enough.  I was so very wrong.  If I did not eat on a schedule, every 3 hours, it showed in the gym and posing practice, and I could not let that show on stage.  Not to mention the fact I was a bit self-conscious about bringing in so much food and hogging space in the fridge, and also smelling up our kitchen with my fish (I do not microwave my fish), eggs, or vinegar salad dressing.  That changed.  A colleague came to visit our office from another office one day and she confessed to me, after we both shunned the cupcakes and cookies my job had on display in our break room, that she too was a fitness competitor and showed me that she had packed a whole day’s worth of food in her cooler.  I couldn’t believe it.  Not only did she look amazing but she didn’t let her busy schedule or comments from anyone stop her from bringing in her competition prep meals.  I said right then and there I would not be ashamed of bringing in a cooler and truck loads of food into work.  I wouldn’t care how it looked, how awful it smelled, I was going to bring in my food and eat on a schedule. 
After 5:00 pm, it’s beast mode in the gym time.  The makeup, corporate-pleasant attitude and corporate casual attire are stripped.  My hair gets pulled in a pony-tail, covered up by a hat, tights or shorts on, sneakers, and a grizzly bear is before you ready to do some damage.  If I really wanted to be dramatic, I would put some of that black paint under my eyes, but that’s a little extra.  If I’m on schedule, I have my snack or protein shake while I’m there.  If I did not eat, I’m something of a handful with my trainer, or anyone for that matter.  If some of my work associates or even some clients saw me in the gym, they probably would not recognize me or would be very shocked to see hidden under all of the corporate clothes, this “skinny chick” has muscles.  I am extremely focused when working out.  There are times when I “zone out”.  I’m talking no one else is in the room, it’s just me and the weights.  My trainer isn’t even there, just a voice in the distance. 
When I’m focused and on a schedule, I feel much more content.  For those who think you cannot balance work life with a healthy lifestyle, I’m here to tell you that is false.  You can, if you really want to. It takes finding what works for you and setting a strict schedule for yourself, and ultimately sticking to it.  I had a hard time managing stress at work because there were times it would spill over to my workouts.  I found when I eat, take my breaks when I’m supposed to, decompress when I have to, do not skip meals, and work hard in the gym, I’m able to handle things much better.  Try it out and you’ll definitely see it works.

Monday, March 17, 2014

The Bodybuilding Introvert

Many people do not believe me when I tell them this, but I am an introvert.  For the majority of my life, I’ve been fairly shy and quiet, very private and to myself.  I’m still that way to this day, in some regard.  A lot depends on the company around me.  Now, what does this have to do with fitness modeling?  Everything.  Because I am an introvert, it is out of the ordinary that I would choose to associate myself with a sport where I have to expose most of my body and open up to people and swap “prep” stories.  I don’t mind talking and networking with people at all, in fact, I enjoy it.  Sometimes.  I’m not nervous talking to another bikini or figure competitor in the pump up room when we’re getting ready to show our stuff on stage.  I just get to a point where, internally, I ask “what do I have to say remotely interesting to this person that they would want to engage in conversation with me?”  And then I shut down.  But I have to think about who I’m around.  These are men/women that have gone through the same prep that I’ve gone through to get where they are now, in the same place I am.  There is no reason for me not to open up.  Their story may help me, and vice versa. 
The exposing my body portion of it all is somewhat different.  I stopped being shy about my body a long time ago.  I figured because I was working out consistently this would be the perfect way to showcase my rock hard body, dazzling smile and the sparkle in my eye for the lights.  But a small part of me wanted to hold back.  I did not know how I would be perceived.  But I suddenly realized I did not care what anyone thought of me because it was my body.  If I kept up with this introverted “behavior” then I would miss out on a lot of things in life.  So, to the stage I go!
As I’ve stated in earlier posts, fitness modeling is completely out of the box for me.  It is something that I, surprisingly, took naturally too and enjoyed.  While there are those stressful, panic stricken moments of discouragement, fear and lingering thoughts, I have to give myself credit for sticking it out as long as I have and making it work to my advantage.  I do not regard my personality trait as being a character flaw.  I think of it as being that one trait that sets me apart from everyone else.  One may question, what in the world would an introvert be doing body building/fitness modeling competitions for?  Just debunking the myth that you have to be defined and confined to the demarcation of said trait, one competition at a time.

If You're Confident & You Know It, Pose & Smile!

It takes a lot of courage to stand in front of family, friends, fans, and complete strangers, and show off your body that is covered with very little material; very little left to the imagination.  So, going into a competition takes a person with a lot of self-assurance in themselves to make even an effort in entering in this arena.  Not only do you have to be physically strong but you have to be mentally strong as well, as cliché as that sounds. 
My nerves begin jumping a week before a competition, and they do not stop until I approach the stage, smile and pose.   I’ll admit, my very first competition, I was a deer caught in headlights.  Literally, I couldn’t get adjusted to the lights blazing on the center stage and I ended up staring at them the entire show!  I didn’t think I would do so well in that show, my confidence level was at a solid 2.5.  I wasn’t secure mentally or physically.  My pose was a little awkward and my smile was not as shiny and bright as it should have been.  I had several factors working against me.  Ambivalence started to weigh on me, questioning my reason as to why I was subjecting myself to such physical and mental stress.  Naturally, when your confidence feels shattered or at least shaken, you tend to give up.  Not me.  I told myself, for the next show, I would have everything in place, confidence being at the very top of the list.
And I did.  My second show I was more together.  My pose was so spot on my back and legs started hurting, which I didn’t realize until the very end of the show.  My smile was so big my cheeks hurt.  I was told if I was having all of these ailments, I was doing it right.  Confidence level was a whopping 10.  I knew what I had to do to get where I wanted and what I wanted.  My resolve could not be broken at that point.  All I could do was be confident, pose and smile.  And it earned me a 2nd place trophy and qualifier for NPC National shows. 
It hurts, physically and mentally, but that confidence knowing you’ve done everything you are supposed to do to get where you are is the greatest reward.  I say, no matter what it is you’re subjecting yourself to, whether it be a competition, a test in some form, or just challenging yourself to be a better person, you have to have an unwavering, impenetrable confidence that you can look back and say this is what I did to get where I am and nothing can stop me.  Then, just pose and smile, because you’ve got it like that!