Your Health and Fitness Should Be About You and No One Else

I've mentioned in earlier posts my reason for turning my life over to health and fitness.  For those of you who have not read those posts, let me fill you in.  My mother suffered a major stroke 13 years ago that rendered her somewhat paralyzed on her left side.  I say somewhat because she can still walk and talk but she hardly has any movement in her left arm (she's left-handed) and she walks with a limp. She was able to fight back, however, and even managed to drive and continue living what she deems an active lifestyle; church activities, store runs, attending school events with my niece, etc.  June and July of last year, my mother suffered multiple mini strokes back to back, which affected her speech.  She has days where she sounds clear and other days where she sounds tired and sluggish.  Nonetheless, she's still a fighter.

I wasn't sure how to react or what to be mad at.  My gene pool (my mother's mother suffered a stroke many years ago and died), myself for not knowing what to do to help prevent my mother from having the multiple strokes, or my mother for not slowing down enough and taking care of her health the way she should.  I decided none of the above options were good enough reasons to throw a tantrum and curse the world over, so I decided to take stock in my own life and see what bad habits I've inherited or picked up along the way and how can I change them.

The change would be for me.  It doesn't seem fair to my mother to say I'm changing my life and making it healthier and incorporating an active lifestyle that involves heavy exercising and getting into a sport like body building to keep up appearances, something you were not able to do for me or for yourself.  That's a pretty rotten way of thinking.  I thought I was giving my mother credit by saying her stroke and bad eating habits were the reasons I became more health and fitness conscious, but realized it only highlighted her condition and put her in a negative light.  At least that's what I felt it did.  She may not be a body builder but she's a fighter, and her strength may not be in lifting a 35 lb. bar over her head or doing bent over rows, but it is her willingness to not let this illness drag her down to the depths of despair and inevitably take her life.  She wasn't giving up for herself.  No one or nothing else was a factor in her decision. 

Having learned this, I decided I had to do this health and fitness thing for myself.  Many people do not understand why I'm doing it in the first place, and in actuality, my parents don't either.  For me, that motivates me that much more to push and do it for myself.  No one else will understand what you're doing until they see the end results and eventually it makes sense to them.  Your reason for turning your life over to whatever suits you in a positive way primarily starts with you.  The story behind it and the motivation to keep going is secondary.

Glamour can get ugly; the negative driving forces behind fitness modeling

When the glitz and glam and all the spray tan wears off, reality sets in. I start to think about my true motivation for this sport and what drives me. As I have stated in a previous post, I've never been a part of something and stuck with it. This sport allowed me to take what I or others may have deemed awkward and weird (my body) into something beautiful, inspirational and glamourous. But just like everything else, there's a dark side.

What I've learned from competing this year (my first year) is you're either all in or you're not.  Point, blank and the period.  No one is going to spend countless hours prepping their body and minds for a sport they have no interest in.  You have to stay committed to your diet, your body, your coach (if you have one), your training or trainer (if you have one), and the goals you've set.  There are competitors whose driving force is obtaining a pro card.  That's their motivator, that's what keeps them in the game.  Some are in it just for the sport itself, to stay active, fit and have fun and that's enough for them.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  But whatever the motivator is, you have to make sure you stick with it.  Either you're in or you're not.  Last thing anyone wants is their time and money (HELLO!!) wasted. 

The ugliness to all of this is the factor behind the driving force.  Some competitors in this sport for the pro card get so consumed with that motivator that nothing else matters.  They're so hungry for it becomes a lifestyle change.  Suddenly, they're gymrats, trainers, life coaches, vegans, nutritionists and their whole world is about peanut butter, spinach, sweet potatoes and fish.  Now, I'm not saying anything is wrong with this but when you get so wrapped up in something and what's considered the "it" thing in that sport, you become that sport instead of just letting the sport be what it is and just fitting into your role as competitor. 

When I first started, I was in all the way.  I was a gymrat, I thought about being a trainer and tossed around the idea of a nutritionist.  But I quickly realized it would be more of a job than just being what it is, a hobby.  I wanted to have fun with this sport, not let it consume my everyday life.  I wanted to be able to take a break from it and come back with that same fresh adrenaline pumping energy as I did with my 2nd show (I wasn't all that enthused with my 1st show). 

My motivation to continue competing is to enjoy my body the way it is now, have a story to tell and to say to someone, yes, I competed in fitness body building competitions and had a blast.  Do I want a pro card?  Yes, someday.  But I'm not going to kill myself if I don't.  I'm going to factor in what needs to be done, get back in the lab and get it done.  Point, blank and the period.