If You're Confident & You Know It, Pose & Smile!

It takes a lot of courage to stand in front of family, friends, fans, and complete strangers, and show off your body that is covered with very little material; very little left to the imagination.  So, going into a competition takes a person with a lot of self-assurance in themselves to make even an effort in entering in this arena.  Not only do you have to be physically strong but you have to be mentally strong as well, as cliché as that sounds. 

My nerves begin jumping a week before a competition, and they do not stop until I approach the stage, smile and pose.   I’ll admit, my very first competition, I was a deer caught in headlights.  Literally, I couldn’t get adjusted to the lights blazing on the center stage and I ended up staring at them the entire show!  I didn’t think I would do so well in that show, my confidence level was at a solid 2.5.  I wasn’t secure mentally or physically.  My pose was a little awkward and my smile was not as shiny and bright as it should have been.  I had several factors working against me.  Ambivalence started to weigh on me, questioning my reason as to why I was subjecting myself to such physical and mental stress.  Naturally, when your confidence feels shattered or at least shaken, you tend to give up.  Not me.  I told myself, for the next show, I would have everything in place, confidence being at the very top of the list.

And I did.  My second show I was more together.  My pose was so spot on my back and legs started hurting, which I didn’t realize until the very end of the show.  My smile was so big my cheeks hurt.  I was told if I was having all of these ailments, I was doing it right.  Confidence level was a whopping 10.  I knew what I had to do to get where I wanted and what I wanted.  My resolve could not be broken at that point.  All I could do was be confident, pose and smile.  And it earned me a 2nd place trophy and qualifier for NPC National shows. 

It hurts, physically and mentally, but that confidence knowing you’ve done everything you are supposed to do to get where you are is the greatest reward.  I say, no matter what it is you’re subjecting yourself to, whether it be a competition, a test in some form, or just challenging yourself to be a better person, you have to have an unwavering, impenetrable confidence that you can look back and say this is what I did to get where I am and nothing can stop me.  Then, just pose and smile, because you’ve got it like that!

The Bored Eater

I'm bored. I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. All my friends are busy and I am, essentially, stuck at home, alone. What to do?  Plop on the couch, watch trash T.V. or a good movie and eat, eat, eat.  Pizza sounds good, salty, buttery popcorn is always good, cookies are a great sugary treat, and how about washing it down with a thick milk shake or a soda.  Funny thing is, I’m not really all that hungry…

Sounds typical, right?  Nothing else to do except sit around and eat.  You’re not hungry, you’re just vegetating (no pun intended).  When you're bored you instinctively become what's called a "bored-eater". You fall into this rut where you have nothing to do and you're at home with an abundance of unhealthy foods and snacks.  They’re accessible and available for massive consumption because, let’s face it, you made it that way by purchasing them.  So what’s the reason(s) behind this?  Why eat poorly when you’re bored? Why become a bored-eater?   

I cannot tell a lie, I am guilty of this.  I have done this many times in the past.  I bought the junk food and planned to consume as much of it when I had the time.  When I’m at home watching trash on T.V. or a movie seems as good a time as any to pig out.  The truly sad part about it is I may not even be hungry but because the food is there and my brain says it wouldn’t hurt to eat that quart of cookie dough ice cream I bought on sale for $2.50 (regular price $3.25) I chow down, and in that moment I’m fulfilled.  Not only did I come up on a steal of deal but it’s my favorite ice cream and it’s comforting me.  So then I tell myself, I’m not bored anymore and my imaginary hunger pangs that were never there in the first place are gone.  And this becomes a vicious cycle.  Buy the junk, eat the junk, repeat. 

This pattern had to stop.  If I was going to be more health conscious I needed to think more health conscious.  I had to redo my entire thought process.  Whenever I knew I would be home with nothing to do (because honestly, you have days that are not completely filled and you have down time to yourself) I planned it out.  I stopped buying the junk.  No more ice cream.  Period.  It was my weakness.  I gave it up for Lent one year and I haven’t looked back since.  No pizza unless I’m eating it as a cheat meal.  Hot dogs (Nathans; I’m from New York and there’s no better hot dog in the world) completely off the grocery list.  Chips (unless it’s low sodium and 40% less fat) I cannot purchase.  Fruit (bananas, apples, oranges), nuts (almonds, walnuts), fish (yes, I consider it a snack…tuna, hello?), protein shakes (whey protein), and smoothies (fruit and veggie based not juice based, please) are mainly what I snack on.  And I have a schedule.  I eat every 3 hours.  I eat small meals and snacks in between.  This is to keep me from overeating and feeling as if I need to eat.

It’s simple, if you don’t make it available you won’t eat it.  Moreover, if you reprogram your way of thinking about food—healthy vs. non-healthy, hungry vs. not hungry—your choices and your lifestyle will change immensely.  Worked for me! 

But I'm Tired....Days When I Feel Like Giving Up

Not everyday is happy, sunny, running barefoot in the meadows wonderful when I workout.  There are days when I'm physically and mentally exhausted.  Too tired to think, speak, and even move. Somehow, I manage to do it, but barely. There are times where I actually argue with my trainer, completely blow-up. Cuss, fuss, then storm out.

During these times, when I'm completely drained, I get into discourage mode and want to give up.  I'm talking throw up both hands, back away dramatically and say, "F this s*it!"  Many things play a role in this state of mind; work stress, finances, the physical pain and strain to my body, results not showing fast enough, and, the biggie, what is the end goal here and what am I doing this for?  I've mentioned my whole stress process in a previous post, it gets pretty ugly, fast, and before I know it everything has spiraled out of control. The days where I feel like giving up I have to think of the things that have gotten me to that point and is the end goal, what I'm working hard to achieve, worth all of this.

One side of me says, "But I'm hangry (combination of hungry and angry) and I just want a cookie and to punch somebody!" The other side of me says "Stop being a baby, get it together and quit trippin'!" The results aren't going to get there without hardwork behind it. So, I wipe my face, dust off my shoulders and get back in the lab and do, what I consider, is my best.   

Days I feel like giving up don't last long because my fight, dedication and determination is stronger than it ever has been. I figure something that's hanging on as tightly as fitness and fitness modeling isn't worth giving up on. It's more push to keep it going and fight those urges I have to "give up" as hard as I can. 

So I continue dieting when I don't want to, workout when my body aches, and shake off those sissy "give up" feelings.  Because at the end of the day, proving to myself I can conquer all of this and finally be great at something is not just the push but the "shove" I need to step up to the plate and get it. I'm hangry for it! 

                                             

Glamour can get ugly; the negative driving forces behind fitness modeling

When the glitz and glam and all the spray tan wears off, reality sets in. I start to think about my true motivation for this sport and what drives me. As I have stated in a previous post, I've never been a part of something and stuck with it. This sport allowed me to take what I or others may have deemed awkward and weird (my body) into something beautiful, inspirational and glamourous. But just like everything else, there's a dark side.

What I've learned from competing this year (my first year) is you're either all in or you're not.  Point, blank and the period.  No one is going to spend countless hours prepping their body and minds for a sport they have no interest in.  You have to stay committed to your diet, your body, your coach (if you have one), your training or trainer (if you have one), and the goals you've set.  There are competitors whose driving force is obtaining a pro card.  That's their motivator, that's what keeps them in the game.  Some are in it just for the sport itself, to stay active, fit and have fun and that's enough for them.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  But whatever the motivator is, you have to make sure you stick with it.  Either you're in or you're not.  Last thing anyone wants is their time and money (HELLO!!) wasted. 

The ugliness to all of this is the factor behind the driving force.  Some competitors in this sport for the pro card get so consumed with that motivator that nothing else matters.  They're so hungry for it becomes a lifestyle change.  Suddenly, they're gymrats, trainers, life coaches, vegans, nutritionists and their whole world is about peanut butter, spinach, sweet potatoes and fish.  Now, I'm not saying anything is wrong with this but when you get so wrapped up in something and what's considered the "it" thing in that sport, you become that sport instead of just letting the sport be what it is and just fitting into your role as competitor. 

When I first started, I was in all the way.  I was a gymrat, I thought about being a trainer and tossed around the idea of a nutritionist.  But I quickly realized it would be more of a job than just being what it is, a hobby.  I wanted to have fun with this sport, not let it consume my everyday life.  I wanted to be able to take a break from it and come back with that same fresh adrenaline pumping energy as I did with my 2nd show (I wasn't all that enthused with my 1st show). 

My motivation to continue competing is to enjoy my body the way it is now, have a story to tell and to say to someone, yes, I competed in fitness body building competitions and had a blast.  Do I want a pro card?  Yes, someday.  But I'm not going to kill myself if I don't.  I'm going to factor in what needs to be done, get back in the lab and get it done.  Point, blank and the period.