What Is a Fitness Model?

I love receiving questions from people wanting to enter fitness modeling or general interests in the sport itself.  While I am no longer considered a novice in the sport, I am certainly not a veteran or a pro.  But I cannot help but feel a sense of pride when I am asked questions about fitness modeling and hear myself speaking in a way that suggests I’ve been in the sport for years.  I can only speak on what I’ve researched (and I did a lot of research before getting into this) and what I’ve experienced.

So, for inquiring minds, fitness modeling is modeling one’s physical form or physique.  Think of body building competitions or Arnold Schwarzenegger.  When you enter fitness modeling competitions you are competing with others in your desired division.  These divisions include bikini, figure, physique (men and women), fitness, and body building (men and women).  Each division has a different body type requirement:

·         Bikini (female) – usually seen as lean, visible muscle definition but not more muscular than other female fitness division.  Bikini fitness models are classified as exotic, curvaceous, sexy and flirty. 

·         Figure (female) – well defined and visible muscle definition.  While female figure competitors are not as overly flirty on stage during their posing, they are still considered appealing to the eye due to size, shape and sculpting of their muscular form.

·         Physique (male and female) – muscle shape, size and proportion are determining factors within this division, for both men and women.  Muscle size is a size down from body building.

·         Fitness (female) – this is a size down from figure competitors.  They are leaner in size but still have relative muscle definition that determines their overall ranking. 

·         Body Building (male and female) – muscle size, shape and proportion is the largest of all categories. 

Depending on your size, ability to gain muscle mass and compete determines what division you should be competing in.  I chose bikini because of my body type, ectomorph.  I decided, for myself, this division was more along my speed and one I could keep up with in training, rather than trying to gain massive amounts of muscle mass to compete as a figure or physique competitor.  This worked out for me.  This is not to say everyone is cut out to be a bikini model.  Some may chose figure or women’s body building.  It is the same for the men’s divisions. 

The decision should ultimately be yours, one that you will have no regrets and feel happy throughout the entire training and competing process.  After one of my competitions, I saw a fellow bikini competitor crying when we got off stage.  I spoke to her coach to find out what was wrong with her.  The young lady felt as if she did not do as well as she had hoped and wanted to quit.  After learning she was unhappy with her body development and how the process was not as enjoyable as she thought it would be, I asked her if she thought bikini was the division she wanted to compete in.  She thought about it and said no.  We sat and watched most of the show until it was time to get back on stage and she said became mesmerized by the figure competitors.  I told her she may want to consider it but to make sure the decision and experience was one she would be content with.  She agreed to take some time to think about it but would do another show in the figure division. 

Your body takes time to develop and mature.  The same can be said about your mental state around body building/fitness modeling competitions.  Competing is not for everyone.  I can honestly say I never thought I would like fitness modeling but have grown to enjoy it more than I ever thought I could.  One word to best describe fitness competitions: exhilarating.  You meet like-minded individuals that have prepped just as hard if not harder than you for their 15 minutes (if that) on stage to pose and smile.  Some of the things to take into account when prepping for a competition is:

·         Tanning (2 coats and a touch-up)

·         Hair and makeup (women)

·         Jewelry (women)

·         Suits

·         Diet prep (6-8 weeks)

·         Posing

·         Training

It can be thrilling but also overwhelming, and it takes a person that is willing to jump through all the hoops to give their body the shine they’ve worked hard to prep for.  Ask yourself, can I do this and is it worth it?  What am I getting into this for?  The decision is yours.

Corporate Woman by Day, Fitness Freak by Night

I live your average, everyday corporate lifestyle between the hours of 8:30 am and 5:00 pm.  During competition prep season, I like to prep my meals for the week on Sunday evening.  I grab my containers, which contains my lunch, snacks, protein shake, another meal, and an extra meal just in case I do not make it home for dinner, and off to work I go.  I usually take up the most room in the refrigerator at work, and I’m ok with that.  I would try to remain inconspicuous and act as if I’m not the owners of all the food containers but, ideally, my initials are conveniently marked on the corners of each container.  My brilliant idea, so no one would suddenly feel the urge to “eat healthy” and snag my food.  Nonetheless, I’m eyeballed each time I step into the kitchen.  No one can understand how someone of my stature, 5’8, 130 lbs, could put away all that food in 8 hours.  “Oh, what ya got there?” “Moving in, are we?”  I avoid the glaring eyes and cute comments and proceed to the refrigerator to stock my food.  I have found that if I tuck my food away in the food crisper drawers, no one notices.  When it’s time to eat, my reminder goes off, and off to the kitchen or my desk drawer I go.  Whenever I’m meeting in someone’s office, my mental clock goes off and I have to ask the time.  If it is feeding time, I politely but hungrily say, “It’s time to feed the beast.  Excuse me.”  And I leave. 

I had a hard time coming to grips with the fact I had to eat every 3 hours, and be ok with it.  I did not eat that much regularly so I wasn’t sure how I would be able to do this during work hours.  I am fairly busy at work and I have been known to skip a meal or two, but I did not think my healthy lifestyle and my work lifestyle could co-exist.  I tried to eat healthy at work, substituting cookies and chips for fruit and veggies, and I thought that was enough.  I was so very wrong.  If I did not eat on a schedule, every 3 hours, it showed in the gym and posing practice, and I could not let that show on stage.  Not to mention the fact I was a bit self-conscious about bringing in so much food and hogging space in the fridge, and also smelling up our kitchen with my fish (I do not microwave my fish), eggs, or vinegar salad dressing.  That changed.  A colleague came to visit our office from another office one day and she confessed to me, after we both shunned the cupcakes and cookies my job had on display in our break room, that she too was a fitness competitor and showed me that she had packed a whole day’s worth of food in her cooler.  I couldn’t believe it.  Not only did she look amazing but she didn’t let her busy schedule or comments from anyone stop her from bringing in her competition prep meals.  I said right then and there I would not be ashamed of bringing in a cooler and truck loads of food into work.  I wouldn’t care how it looked, how awful it smelled, I was going to bring in my food and eat on a schedule. 

After 5:00 pm, it’s beast mode in the gym time.  The makeup, corporate-pleasant attitude and corporate casual attire are stripped.  My hair gets pulled in a pony-tail, covered up by a hat, tights or shorts on, sneakers, and a grizzly bear is before you ready to do some damage.  If I really wanted to be dramatic, I would put some of that black paint under my eyes, but that’s a little extra.  If I’m on schedule, I have my snack or protein shake while I’m there.  If I did not eat, I’m something of a handful with my trainer, or anyone for that matter.  If some of my work associates or even some clients saw me in the gym, they probably would not recognize me or would be very shocked to see hidden under all of the corporate clothes, this “skinny chick” has muscles.  I am extremely focused when working out.  There are times when I “zone out”.  I’m talking no one else is in the room, it’s just me and the weights.  My trainer isn’t even there, just a voice in the distance. 

When I’m focused and on a schedule, I feel much more content.  For those who think you cannot balance work life with a healthy lifestyle, I’m here to tell you that is false.  You can, if you really want to. It takes finding what works for you and setting a strict schedule for yourself, and ultimately sticking to it.  I had a hard time managing stress at work because there were times it would spill over to my workouts.  I found when I eat, take my breaks when I’m supposed to, decompress when I have to, do not skip meals, and work hard in the gym, I’m able to handle things much better.  Try it out and you’ll definitely see it works.

The Bored Eater

I'm bored. I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. All my friends are busy and I am, essentially, stuck at home, alone. What to do?  Plop on the couch, watch trash T.V. or a good movie and eat, eat, eat.  Pizza sounds good, salty, buttery popcorn is always good, cookies are a great sugary treat, and how about washing it down with a thick milk shake or a soda.  Funny thing is, I’m not really all that hungry…

Sounds typical, right?  Nothing else to do except sit around and eat.  You’re not hungry, you’re just vegetating (no pun intended).  When you're bored you instinctively become what's called a "bored-eater". You fall into this rut where you have nothing to do and you're at home with an abundance of unhealthy foods and snacks.  They’re accessible and available for massive consumption because, let’s face it, you made it that way by purchasing them.  So what’s the reason(s) behind this?  Why eat poorly when you’re bored? Why become a bored-eater?   

I cannot tell a lie, I am guilty of this.  I have done this many times in the past.  I bought the junk food and planned to consume as much of it when I had the time.  When I’m at home watching trash on T.V. or a movie seems as good a time as any to pig out.  The truly sad part about it is I may not even be hungry but because the food is there and my brain says it wouldn’t hurt to eat that quart of cookie dough ice cream I bought on sale for $2.50 (regular price $3.25) I chow down, and in that moment I’m fulfilled.  Not only did I come up on a steal of deal but it’s my favorite ice cream and it’s comforting me.  So then I tell myself, I’m not bored anymore and my imaginary hunger pangs that were never there in the first place are gone.  And this becomes a vicious cycle.  Buy the junk, eat the junk, repeat. 

This pattern had to stop.  If I was going to be more health conscious I needed to think more health conscious.  I had to redo my entire thought process.  Whenever I knew I would be home with nothing to do (because honestly, you have days that are not completely filled and you have down time to yourself) I planned it out.  I stopped buying the junk.  No more ice cream.  Period.  It was my weakness.  I gave it up for Lent one year and I haven’t looked back since.  No pizza unless I’m eating it as a cheat meal.  Hot dogs (Nathans; I’m from New York and there’s no better hot dog in the world) completely off the grocery list.  Chips (unless it’s low sodium and 40% less fat) I cannot purchase.  Fruit (bananas, apples, oranges), nuts (almonds, walnuts), fish (yes, I consider it a snack…tuna, hello?), protein shakes (whey protein), and smoothies (fruit and veggie based not juice based, please) are mainly what I snack on.  And I have a schedule.  I eat every 3 hours.  I eat small meals and snacks in between.  This is to keep me from overeating and feeling as if I need to eat.

It’s simple, if you don’t make it available you won’t eat it.  Moreover, if you reprogram your way of thinking about food—healthy vs. non-healthy, hungry vs. not hungry—your choices and your lifestyle will change immensely.  Worked for me! 

The Joys of Being an Ectomorph; My Body Type

As I've stated in earlier posts, I am an ectomorph.  I was not made known of this until I started taking fitness more seriously and got into fitness modeling.  At that point, it was important to learn my body. I couldn't figure out why I could not gain weight or keep muscle, no matter how much I ate, how much I lifted, and how much I prayed for the weight gain (exaggerating).  I dismissed it and said it must be genetic, so I better eat all I can now because when I get older it is not going to be the same.  This was easy to do, but being that I was now competing and showing off my body against other females who could pack on more muscle in a day than I could in a month made me more alert and wanting to know more about my body and what I needed to do to gain size.

The basics: an ectomorph body type is lean/skinny, less muscle mass, small bones and joints, high metabolism, and essentially, everyone hates you because you are this way.  Maybe not so much the latter, but not much of a stretch.  Because your body is already lean you have sort of an edge in the competition, but not by much.  You still have to gain and maintain muscle mass.  This is probably the hardest part. 


Because our bodies naturally burn a lot of calories and our metabolism is high, ectomorphs are advised to keep cardio training at a minimum.  Cardio is still essential, but it can include certain types of cardio workouts such as circuit training or HIIT style (kettle bell swings, push ups, sprints, etc.).  These should be kept to at least 30 minutes. Workouts such as dead lift, lateral pulls, jump squats with the bar, dumbbell curls, calf raisers, bench press, squats (the list goes on and on) are vital in muscle growth, in addition to eating the right nutrients and supplement intake (amino acid, protein shake, creatin).  Some are against ectomorphs taking supplements because our bodies do not need it.  However, if you are in a sport like body building or just want to gain it is essential in getting them into your system because of how it works consistently with your workouts and dieting.  At least for me it does.

One other challenge I continued running into was eating.  I did not know what to eat, how to eat, when to eat, etc.  All I knew was that I had to eat properly because my brain has been trained that when your body feasts on improper eating habits (fried fatty foods, high sodium, high glucose, fructose, sucrose, dextrose...sugar) it will suffer and the end results, at least the ones I've seen in my family, are not good.  My mother suffers from high blood pressure which has resulted in her having multiple strokes.  I saw this and immediately wanted to change my eating habits and maintain an active, healthy lifestyle.  Everything comes with a price.  Literally.  The price of organic vs. non organic is about $5, and that is not an exaggeration from the stores I shop at.  Or taking organic out of the equation, a box of cookies at $2.50 vs. a bag of kale chips at $5.60.  Seriously, if you don't grow your own foods you're liable to go broke if you live on a budget and trying to eat healthy.  This is a sacrifice I was willing to make for competing.  The key to remember for ectomorphs is we can essentially eat what we want, in moderation of course, but smart and healthy.  Breaking up large meals into smaller portion sized meals throughout the day is beneficial.

 

At the end of the day, ectomorphs are rare and unique in true form.  While our bodies, for the most part, appear lean and lanky, there are tricks of the trade to learn in order to even out our body, and by that I mean shaping it into a form that suits us.  My form consists of tightness and definition, one that I am proud to say took hard work to develop, so naturally I cannot go back to the way I was just to start over again.

Kale vs. Spinach; My Preference and Benefits for Fitness Modeling

My trainer and I have gone back and forth on kale and spinach.  Both are clearly healthy choices in the leafy greens department, you can't go wrong with either.  Some nutritional facts point to kale (all hail kale!), where it is high in vitamin A, C, & K, low calorie, anti-inflammatory, lowers cholesterol, good source for bones, eyes, skin and reduces risk of heart disease and cancer.  Then you have spinach that lowers blood pressure, fights cardiovascular disease and stroke, aids in digestion, contains folate/folic acid (this is especially important for women who are pregnant), high in iron, fights psoriasis, acne and wrinkles.  And who can forget this being the go-to veggie for good ole Popeye, so naturally it's a good source of fiber and strength as well.  So why the back and forth?  Because one says eat more kale and the other insists on eating spinach.

Being a fitness competitor I have to make sure I have a balance of nutrients in my diet during competition prep, otherwise my body will not hold muscle, I'll be weaker and my workouts will be tougher to manage.  Ideally, it would seem as though I would include both kale and spinach in my diet because of all the health benefits tied to each, right?  Not quite.  While both aid in muscle growth I can't help but feel as if I'm a spinach kind of girl.  Not to say there's anything wrong with kale.  In fact, if cooked properly, kale tastes a little better than spinach.  A little.  The texture is a little tough, but so is steak and kale actually has more iron than beef.  So what's my beef with kale?  There isn't one.  I just love the way spinach cooks and the things I can prepare with it.  I love making spinach casserole dishes, and pairing spinach with fish and mixed vegetables.  It is an elegant presentation.  Or drizzling some olive oil, sprinkling some pepper and salad seasoning and splashing some vinegar on it makes a wonderful meal.  Now don't get me wrong, there are many ways to prepare kale and making it presentation worthy, not to mention kale chips are amazing, but I can't let seem to let go of the idea that spinach is my go-to leafy green.

Some people may think it is a little outlandish to think that one is better than the other, especially if you are in a sport like body building where both greens would work better for your body if equal amounts are consumed.  I do not dismiss those claims.  However, I believe as long as you consume one or the other rather than none your body is happy regardless.  It's not uncommon for people to prefer one food over another.  It just so happens I prefer spinach over kale.  Both good sources of nutrients, both excellent agents in minimizing fat storage and building muscle, both good sources on the road to clean eating.  But I like spinach.  It's not a crime.  But my goal next year is to incorporate more kale into my diet so I will have a good balance.  But I'll still prefer spinach.  Period. 

Glamour can get ugly; the negative driving forces behind fitness modeling

When the glitz and glam and all the spray tan wears off, reality sets in. I start to think about my true motivation for this sport and what drives me. As I have stated in a previous post, I've never been a part of something and stuck with it. This sport allowed me to take what I or others may have deemed awkward and weird (my body) into something beautiful, inspirational and glamourous. But just like everything else, there's a dark side.

What I've learned from competing this year (my first year) is you're either all in or you're not.  Point, blank and the period.  No one is going to spend countless hours prepping their body and minds for a sport they have no interest in.  You have to stay committed to your diet, your body, your coach (if you have one), your training or trainer (if you have one), and the goals you've set.  There are competitors whose driving force is obtaining a pro card.  That's their motivator, that's what keeps them in the game.  Some are in it just for the sport itself, to stay active, fit and have fun and that's enough for them.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  But whatever the motivator is, you have to make sure you stick with it.  Either you're in or you're not.  Last thing anyone wants is their time and money (HELLO!!) wasted. 

The ugliness to all of this is the factor behind the driving force.  Some competitors in this sport for the pro card get so consumed with that motivator that nothing else matters.  They're so hungry for it becomes a lifestyle change.  Suddenly, they're gymrats, trainers, life coaches, vegans, nutritionists and their whole world is about peanut butter, spinach, sweet potatoes and fish.  Now, I'm not saying anything is wrong with this but when you get so wrapped up in something and what's considered the "it" thing in that sport, you become that sport instead of just letting the sport be what it is and just fitting into your role as competitor. 

When I first started, I was in all the way.  I was a gymrat, I thought about being a trainer and tossed around the idea of a nutritionist.  But I quickly realized it would be more of a job than just being what it is, a hobby.  I wanted to have fun with this sport, not let it consume my everyday life.  I wanted to be able to take a break from it and come back with that same fresh adrenaline pumping energy as I did with my 2nd show (I wasn't all that enthused with my 1st show). 

My motivation to continue competing is to enjoy my body the way it is now, have a story to tell and to say to someone, yes, I competed in fitness body building competitions and had a blast.  Do I want a pro card?  Yes, someday.  But I'm not going to kill myself if I don't.  I'm going to factor in what needs to be done, get back in the lab and get it done.  Point, blank and the period.

When will the aching stop?

I've been working out non-stop for roughly a year.  Before then, my workouts consisted of an aerobic class here, a yoga class there, pole dancing to spice it up and kick boxing, just to throw in a little variety.  Nothing ever stuck.  But once I turned my life over to complete fitness and decided I needed to workout on a more consistent basis, I hired a trainer and got serious.  At that time, I didn't have enough motivation to workout myself, so getting a trainer seemed to be the most logical thing to do.  I knew my body would ache for awhile because I was just starting out and my trainer felt I could take it because of my boyish frame and athletic build (giggle).  There would be days where my arms wouldn't move.  They would lock at the joints and my muscles were extremely tight.  Other days my legs were weak as water and I had a hitch in my giddy-up.  It literally felt like my body ached from my eye lids to my toenails.  As the weeks went by and my body became more susceptible to the workouts, the aches and pains gradually wore off.

Now that I'm in fitness modeling, the workouts are more grueling, intense and rigorous.  The days where my arms were unmovable and I wreaked of Tiger Balm were upon me once again.  I couldn't figure it out.  I thought since I was becoming more fit and active that I wouldn't have to feel as much pain as I did when I first began working out.  But I realized that I've only been doing this a year and the weights my trainer put on me were increasing. Nonetheless, Tiger Balm is readily by my bedside and I stay soaking in a hot bath on those particular days. 

I couldn't help but think, so this is what it's like to be an athlete? It hurts like hell but I guess if I'm going to be a part of this life the aching won't stop for a while.  I think I can get used to that.  It hurts so good, but I would never tell my trainer...

Allow me this one moment; reflecting on my motivation in fitness modeling

I think the reason I want to succeed so much at fitness modeling is because never in my life have I had something that I was truly great at.  I never had anyone praise me for anything besides scholastics and writing, and even then I never really received accolades and true admiration for it.  This, fitness modeling, is something that I can say I stepped out of my comfort zone for and succeeded, or at least feel as though I can go all the way.  I've always wanted to be great at something, always wanted to succeed at something.  Always wanted something that I didn't have to share with someone that just belonged to me.  Something my parents could tell our family and their friends that, beyond college, their daughter did this and it made them proud.  Right now, all they can honestly say they're proud of is that I graduated at the top of my high school and undergrad class and received my masters degree.  I'm not doing all of this for anyone but myself but I can't help but think I'm doing this for all the underdogs of the world, the ones that are too scared to step outside the box and try something different because of what people will think or say about them, the voiceless and unmotivated that need someone to carry the torch.  Well, if I am that sacrificial lamb, so be it.  I just want to succeed.  I just want to be great.  To me, it's more than just my body that is on display.  It's my heart.  Underneath all the glow of the lights, the hair, mounds of makeup, the spray tan, and oil covering my body, I want my inner-self to shine through so they, the judges and everyone else viewing me, can see that there's more to me than what they're seeing on stage.

I just had to get that off my chest......

I am who I am...period; refusing to conform for a sport despite the competition

I can't change who I am.  I've been this way since day one.  I'm a little weird, I have a somewhat awkward build to my body, I love to laugh, I love having fun and I refuse to conform to certain standards people have set to succeed at something.  I know the last part sounds like an endless rant carved out of a movie or dramatic television show but it's the truth.  Many people don't know this about me but I never felt accepted in any circle.  I always felt like the odd man out, the loopy one, the one who always did things just a little bit differently then everyone else.  That's true, no denying that.  I'm ok with not fitting or being accepted in any circle now.  Truth is, while I may be the odd man out I'm at least the one trying to obtain something and not trying to fit into a circle, and enjoying myself in the process.

People seem to have my life planned out for me.  Go to college, go to graduate school, get a good job, get married, have children.  I've always done what others have expected of me and when it comes right down to it, I wasn't enjoying myself. I was determined to shut everyone's mouth and just do what I wanted to do, no matter how unconventional or out of the box it may seem.  This is why I chose to do fitness modeling.

This is a completely new journey, something I never expected nor saw myself doing.  But I figured, while I have the body, the legs, the energy and gravity on my side why not go for it?  I love trying out new things, just to see what I'm good at, and not caring one way or the other about other people's opinion.  So many times I've stopped myself from doing something because of what others may have thought about it.  But then I realized, if I can accept people for who they are and what they do, I should be too.  After doing a couple of shows and telling a few people what I'm doing with fitness modeling and seeing and hearing the ignorance, I had to stop wanting people to accept it because the more they talked the more detached I became from them.  They were slowly becoming unglued from my world and I didn't want to shut everyone out completely, like my parents, for example, who don't necessarily agree with this. 

Even in doing fitness modeling I have found there are certain things that one should do in order to be included in the circle.  Cardio 2-3 times a week, eat rice cakes with peanut butter, eat every 3 hours, meal plan for the entire week, pump your body full of vitamins and supplements, and drink gallons upon gallons of water.  I eat right, I exercise regularly.  I take supplements and I do everything that my body allows me to do.  But I don't do everything that is "required".  For instance, I hate peanut butter, I can never remember to take pills, even if I have an alarm set; my body cannot handle eating every 3 hours and while I love drinking water, drinking 2-3 gallons of it makes me want physically ill.  Does this make me less of a fitness model?  Do the awards and recognition I've received so far mean nothing now?  I don't think so.  One thing that was left off the fitness modeling requirement list is to have fun, which is what I do. 

At the end of the day, this is a hobby of mine, something that is out of the norm and the one thing in my entire life that has fulfilled me.  I may not fit in the "fitness circle" either and after years of experience of not fitting in circles, I'm ok with that.  I don't need to conform and fit into a specific group to feel accepted.  I'm doing what makes me feel happy and not changing for anybody and that is how I intend to succeed.  Period.

How did I get myself into this?

I was never much for working out.  I did it here and there, different types of workouts (kick boxing, yoga, pole-dancing, pilates, aerobics, you name it).  I never thought I needed to workout.  As I stated in my first post, I thought my body was fine.  It had gotten to a point where I really needed to get in shape, so, I hired a trainer.  From the beginning, he always said he saw something in me, wasn't sure what, but there was potential there for something.  I shrugged it off and kept on doing my workouts.  I didn't care that about the technique, I was just proud I was getting through them.  Even though I have a somewhat boyish, awkward looking body, I have an athletic build and an endurance for pain, most of the time, and vigorous workouts, I just never tested my limits.

One day as I was beginning my workout, I was approached by my trainer who asked me if I would be interested in fitness modeling.  "Fitness modeling?!" I screeched.  I had never heard of fitness modeling.  I was in the process of working off my gut full of Hawaiian rolls, white wine, and pasta so I wasn't trying to hear anything about fitness modeling.  However, my curiosity got the best of me so I had to ask, "what is that anyway?" He said it involved posing in a bikini and...stop right there.  He had me at pose and bikini.  I loved posing, especially in bikinis, so I said "let me do my research first and I'll let you know.  I did extensive research for roughly two weeks and read articles that talked about the process to becoming a fitness model, workouts, meal plans/dieting, and what it took to win competitions.  My trainer failed to mention this part to me because he knew I had given up my competitive edge some years back.  I had another trainer from our gym, a professional figure fitness model, talk to me about the process and if I would be on board.  She was willing to help me and my trainer, of course, would too.  I agreed to it.

One thing I can say about myself, I don't mind trying some new things.  I can be fearless at times and dive head first into things without really knowing what the outcome is, but isn't that half the fun?  When I was told I would have to "bulk up" I thought, out of sheer ignorance, I would have to be body builder buff.  That was quickly dismissed by my trainer.  He kindly explained to me that with my body type (i'm an ectomorph) it would be very hard for me to gain muscle, even harder maintaining it, and there was no way in HELL I was using performance enhancing drugs.  I would lift heavy and regularly, diet properly and get as much rest as I possibly could.  The rest part I can do all day, hands down.  That lifting heavy and dieting business was the challenge.  All in a fitness models days work, I guess.

I was ready for it though, bring it on baby!  I was just hoping I wouldn't severely hurt myself in the process....

It was fine as long as I was drinking beer and eating burritos...

When I first told my parents about my fitness modeling journey it was over breakfast.  I had waited a few months before I decided to tell them and at that moment I just blurted it out "I'm going to be doing fitness modeling.  What do you think?"  My mother nodded her head and my father murmured something inaudible.  I looked from one to the other, shrugged my shoulders and I went on eating my eggs.  Deep down, I know they care but because it is so out of the norm for them (they're both very old fashioned; bred from the south, smothered and covered) they're not sure how to react.  They figured if it's not something I studied in college and took an interest in earlier in life why should this be something they should take an interest in now, while I'm in my late twenties?  In their defense, I've never stayed on board with any other hobby, always quit.  But that's because it was never something I wanted to do.  This is something that I  can say, as an adult, that I'm not being thrown into, that I love and that I'm good at.  So now when I visit my parents, they always have to ask what can I eat instead of what do I want to eat.  I just tell them to have enough chicken, fish and veggies in the fridge and I'll supply the rest.  I have to travel with my supplements, protein shakes and other food items in a cooler.  All my parents can do is shake their head.

I wasn't just getting this reaction from my parents though.  Pretty soon, most of my friends that I would hang out with caught wind of my new lifestyle and soon started to slip away.  I'm not going to lie, in the beginning it bothered me.  All the hangouts and cookouts I once were invited to became far and few.  But then I started posting pictures of my progress on Facebook and Instagram.  Now, all those friends that mocked me were suddenly telling me how good I looked and they never knew how much my body had changed.  I had a few supportive friends and I was happy for them but the ones that turned from me when I started on this new journey were ones that had my attention.  I couldn't understand why everything seemed to be ok when I was drinking and eating as badly as they did but as I turned over a new leaf I was removed from their inner circle.  I slowly came to realize that misery indeed loves company.  I had always heard that phrase, understood the meaning but had never encountered it in my everyday life.  It's so funny how certain things in life turn into a lesson.

In the not-so beginning.....

The way I viewed my body is the way most people view a three tiered wedding cake adorned with diamonds and jewels, or a classic piece of artwork hung in the finest museums for all to marvel.  I figured because I was in my roaring twenties, a size four, 135 lbs soaking wet, tall, lean and mean, that my body was something to be mesmerized by and praised.  I was oh so wrong!

My friends and I liked taking beach trips and I would say to myself, "Dre Dre, if some people can walk out here with everything exposed and nothing left to the imagination why can't you?"  So I used what God gave me and my parents enabled and strutted.  Every surface my feet touched down on became my runway.  Oh I was lean and mean all right, but I had the softest, squishiest looking body that was point and laugh worthy.  I had no definition to my body.  And my belly took on a life of its own and became known to me as 'Biscuit' because of my love and obsession for bread. "Yeast will make you bigger," they said.  Ha!  The only place it made me bigger was my belly.  But that didn't matter.  I saw a svelte looking twenty-something with a wiggly booty, stick legs and pigeon toes.  And my goodness I loved a full body picture!  I couldn't stay out of the camera. 

I reflect on all of this now, looking at the progression my body has made thus far compared to how my body looked then, and I have to shake my head and laugh.  My personal trainer put it to me in a way that made me fall on the floor laughing but also made me think.  He said I held the most fat in my back and my stomach and called me a chubby skinny girl.  Ok, that's an oxymoron.  How in the world can I be classified as skinny but then be considered chubby?  But when I thought about it more, it made sense.  This is definitely no offense to anyone but I did have chubby girl tendencies.  I hid Hawaiian bread under my seat and would eat it freely when I was at a stop light.  Or I'd eat chips and salsa right before a yoga class.  I'd even eat a loaded chicken burritos after pole-dancing class and act like I just ate a light salad.  I can go on and on.

There are many contributing factors that play a part in my body transformation but it had to start with transforming my entire thought process and what my idea of a good looking body really is.  I had so many people tell me that I looked good and there was nothing wrong with me.  I was tall and skinny so I could get away with just about anything.  I started believing this and lived my life accordingly.  It took me reprogramming my mind to reprogram my image.  It started inward and progressed outwardly. 

This journey I've been on in transforming my body and lifestyle to a more healthier state has been bumpy, aggravating, hungry, hard and comical, all the more reason to share with others that may be able to relate or inspire.