I can't change who I am. I've been this way since day one. I'm a little weird, I have a somewhat awkward build to my body, I love to laugh, I love having fun and I refuse to conform to certain standards people have set to succeed at something. I know the last part sounds like an endless rant carved out of a movie or dramatic television show but it's the truth. Many people don't know this about me but I never felt accepted in any circle. I always felt like the odd man out, the loopy one, the one who always did things just a little bit differently then everyone else. That's true, no denying that. I'm ok with not fitting or being accepted in any circle now. Truth is, while I may be the odd man out I'm at least the one trying to obtain something and not trying to fit into a circle, and enjoying myself in the process.
People seem to have my life planned out for me. Go to college, go to graduate school, get a good job, get married, have children. I've always done what others have expected of me and when it comes right down to it, I wasn't enjoying myself. I was determined to shut everyone's mouth and just do what I wanted to do, no matter how unconventional or out of the box it may seem. This is why I chose to do fitness modeling.
This is a completely new journey, something I never expected nor saw myself doing. But I figured, while I have the body, the legs, the energy and gravity on my side why not go for it? I love trying out new things, just to see what I'm good at, and not caring one way or the other about other people's opinion. So many times I've stopped myself from doing something because of what others may have thought about it. But then I realized, if I can accept people for who they are and what they do, I should be too. After doing a couple of shows and telling a few people what I'm doing with fitness modeling and seeing and hearing the ignorance, I had to stop wanting people to accept it because the more they talked the more detached I became from them. They were slowly becoming unglued from my world and I didn't want to shut everyone out completely, like my parents, for example, who don't necessarily agree with this.
Even in doing fitness modeling I have found there are certain things that one should do in order to be included in the circle. Cardio 2-3 times a week, eat rice cakes with peanut butter, eat every 3 hours, meal plan for the entire week, pump your body full of vitamins and supplements, and drink gallons upon gallons of water. I eat right, I exercise regularly. I take supplements and I do everything that my body allows me to do. But I don't do everything that is "required". For instance, I hate peanut butter, I can never remember to take pills, even if I have an alarm set; my body cannot handle eating every 3 hours and while I love drinking water, drinking 2-3 gallons of it makes me want physically ill. Does this make me less of a fitness model? Do the awards and recognition I've received so far mean nothing now? I don't think so. One thing that was left off the fitness modeling requirement list is to have fun, which is what I do.
At the end of the day, this is a hobby of mine, something that is out of the norm and the one thing in my entire life that has fulfilled me. I may not fit in the "fitness circle" either and after years of experience of not fitting in circles, I'm ok with that. I don't need to conform and fit into a specific group to feel accepted. I'm doing what makes me feel happy and not changing for anybody and that is how I intend to succeed. Period.
No comments:
Post a Comment